Wednesday, September 10, 2008

the record-tying suckitude of the pittsburgh pirates

They didn't let us down. Well, they couldn't, really, not with how God-awful they've been for so long. And not after their latest chapter of selling off veteran talent for marginal at best potential prospects this summer. But the Pittsburgh Pirates have done it: With Sunday's 11-6 loss to the Giants in San Francisco, they've officially clinched their 16th consecutive losing season, a mark of futility that ties the North American professional sports record. No easy task, to be sure. Cue the head-shaking reminisciences, and cue the usual taunts from the national media, complete with the falsehood that this streak began because the Pirates had chosen to keep Andy Van Slyke and not Barry Bonds way back when -- ignorant hindsight that ignores the fact that Bonds had wanted nothing to do with the Buccos after 1992. But whatever. We're stuck with them, and given the current state of affairs, there's really no telling how much longer such suckitude will go on. Heck, the one positive we had -- this summer's drafting and eventual signing of can't-miss third-base prospect Pedro Alvarez -- has since been taken from us, too, with no definitive end in sight. So there you have it. Pour yourself an Imp & an Iron, Pirates fans. Because they didn't let us down, even though that's all they've been doing for 16 consecutive seasons of sorry baseball. And counting.

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